


Six Feet

by Speculoos



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Billy Hargrove Deserves Better, Billy Hargrove Has a Crush on Steve Harrington, Billy Hargrove Tries to Be a Better Sibling, Goodbyes, M/M, Neil Hargrove Being an Asshole, Steve Harrington Has a Crush on Billy Hargrove, Steve Harrington Is a Mess, Steve Harrington Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-14
Updated: 2020-06-14
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:55:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24723400
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Speculoos/pseuds/Speculoos
Summary: Crying is good for you.
Relationships: Billy Hargrove/Steve Harrington
Comments: 1
Kudos: 34





	Six Feet

Billy Hargrove died. 

That's it. 

His young life ended abruptly just as the so-called best part was about to begin.

Billy Hargrove died an ugly death. There was no peace in his passing, no serenity, no calm darkness wrapping up his turbulent life. Billy died leaving two people behind. He always thought he'd have more to say goodbye to, but all he had was one to which he could only apologise. The other was just out of reach. Billy was taken at 19 years young.

The attendance for his funeral was smaller than expected. The ones who adored him weren't really his friends so it seemed. Only those who knew that he was more than his facade was there to say goodbye. Susan, who mourned for the boy she grew to love as her son. Neil, who couldn't look up or utter a word from those bitter, thinly pursed lips. Max, who genuinely loved him despite their issues, and the troop of nerds there to support her. There were a few others he knew, and then there was Steve. Nobody knew about the other half of their history, the part that took place after the incident at the Byers house. It was something only him and Steve shared. Long nights hiding at the quarry to get away from the sucky lives they both had, parents who didn't care about them, mediocre jobs and dreams that seemed too far to reach.

They bonded over those bitter feelings and soon, that odd relationship of enemies turned to civils turned to friends bloomed into something more. They had their first kiss on the hood of Billy's car when the sky lit up with fireworks, taking them into 1985. Steve loved fireworks after that, until the 4th of July. Their relationship was doomed from the start; forbidden, but despite everything they did to make those feelings go away like developing a crush on a coworker or planning to hook up with the town milf, they never seemed to forget each other or what they felt.

El could testify to that, she saw what happened in Billy's mind. She mourned for him too.

The time came to say goodbye. Steve never imagined how saying goodbye could hurt so much. Max spoke about her brother, recalling fond memories along with difficult ones and how he deserved better than what he got.

"Billy wasn't my blood, but he was my heart..." She sniffled. "He wasn't okay, he wasn't... Not for a long time. He never spoke about it no matter how anyone prodded at him. He kept his troubles hidden, but despite that, he was a good brother. I never had the chance to tell him how much he meant to me. He didn't have to drive me around or look after me the way that he did, but he did so anyway. He always tried to protect me from the monsters that hurt him all his life. He never told me he loved me, but his actions did. He'd... Give me extra quarters by slipping them into my pocket, thinking I didn't notice. He'd make me a sandwich after school and cut the crusts off because he knew I hated them..." Her voice broke a little. "He promised to teach me how to drive this summer... He even got that obnoxious red L sticker which he honestly planned on sticking to his beloved car. I wish... I wish I could tell him. I wish he had more days because he deserved more. He deserved to have more days he could fill with beautiful memories instead of the ones he had to live with. I hope..." She paused to catch her breath. "I hope he knows that I love him. And that I'll miss him..."

As she finished her eulogy, pall bearers came to take Billy's casket away to that lonely hole in the ground, waiting for the mortal remains of someone loved so deeply without ever knowing it.  
His pine coccoon was lowered into the ground on that summer morning. A morning that would have been so perfect in any other situation but to Steve, it seemed more dreary than those stormy days in spring where the sun wouldn't come out for days. As Max placed some flowers in the grave before the shovels were brought out, Steve stood up. He moved to the side of the grave, drawing in a shaky breath as he sat down beside the hole. 

"Billy and I had our infamous moments. I think everyone knows about our rivalry but that's about all they knew. Behind all that, things were different. Billy and I were like two sides of the same coin, so different yet somehow weirdly connected through circumstances that helped us understand each other better than anyone could. We were both lost but through dumb luck we found each other and... Grew closer. I was broken until he came along and kicked my pieces around for some time before slowly gluing me back together with gold instead of regular cement. He did that while being broken too, just to give you an idea of how strong he was."

Steve spoke softly, placing a handful of soil carefully into the hole. "Billy had a weird way of crawling in under your skin if you let him and just like a tattoo, he'd stay there. Just like a tattoo he brought colour to a dull canvas, in a more unsettling way to the conservatives because hey, he loves upsetting prudes..."

He chuckled tearfully, placing another handful of soil into the hole. "But..." His voice suddenly cracked. "He was so much more than what anyone saw. Billy was a warrior... He's been through so much. Billy was a lonely fighter, sometimes pushing everyone away because he was so afraid of being hurt again but boy once he lets you in it's like catching a glimpse of heaven. That's what he was; pure paradise. Warm and golden."

He sniffled a bit, Max crouching down to help him. "It's such an honour to be loved by Billy Hargrove I wish... I wish you'd have experienced it. He deserved so much better than what was given to him. What he had was supposed to ruin him but it didn't. Thank God it didn't break him completely. Thank God he was strong enough to keep his heart safe long enough for the right people to find it."

He kissed the part of his hand covering another mound of soil, noticing some choked sniffles behind him. "He was misunderstood, definitely. A little rough, a little irritating, somewhat proud and very reckless but so loved... So very loved. Deeply loved despite what the world said. I'll forever be thankful for the year I had the privilege to know him, because in that year I found everything I never knew I needed. A short time, a little splinter of a lifetime was spent loving him the way he deserved to be loved."

That was true. Steve thought he loved Nancy but Billy... Falling in love with Billy was as intense as a wildfire, consuming him as rapidly as his world was changed when the California King rode into Hawkins.

"Billy Hargrove isn't dead. Not to me. He's everywhere. In every ray of light breaking through the trees surrounding Hawkins. He's in every star, in every warm breeze. He's in the sound of a guitar riff and the purr of a muscle car." Steve had to pause for a moment to catch his breath. "He's in the glimmer of the water's surface, the fire in the sunset. He's in the beat of my heart-" He sobbed, feeling Max and his beloved nerds cover his shaking form with hugs.

"He's... In every breath I take... He deserved better. He deserved better Mr Hargrove." He sobbed violently. "He deserved better..." Steve then swallowed thickly, looking up into the distance for a moment. "He's everywhere... He's where you look for him. He's in all the beautiful things, in the things he was, in the happy things, the things he deserved to feel like but was regardless. He was beautiful to me." He placed another handful of earth onto the casket. "He's perfect in his imperfections. He makes you want to be brave and strong because that's what he was. He's so beautiful... I'm so, so lucky to have loved him." He whispered, the only ones able to hear him were the kids. He kissed the zippo he stole from him on their last outing on the 25th of April and tossed it lovingly onto the soil starting to cover the casket.

"He's okay now..." He nodded, getting up to to finally leave. He hiccuped, letting the tears fall right onto the shiny red wood six feet down before walking away, unable to look at the cold ground scraped into the hole, the hollow noise of it hitting the casket as his sunshine was put into the dark one more time.

That afternoon, he sat at the quarry in their usual spot, watching the sunset paint the sky with fire. In his hands he held one of Billy's rings, a ring Billy gave him some time after March. He didn't detail what it was for besides for vague hints of _one day_. One day that never came. He put the ring onto his left hand's ring finger before laying back to watch the sun go down one last time on their sacred spot, then smiled a little.

His Billy was okay, wherever he was. He was happier.

And he was right.

Somewhere, where people go to when they die, Billy - in one piece, free of scars and monsters, was riding a six foot wave while watching the sun rise over the horizon. He smiled softly, knowing Steve was on the other side waiting to see him again.

He then looked back to the glittering sands in which another board was perched. He promised that one day he'd teach Steve how to surf and one day, he will. 


End file.
